Long, long ago cave men would choose their potential mate, knock her over the head with a club, and drag her off to a cave in the middle of nowhere. Of course, if men tried that today they would end up getting arrested.

So now that we know that a cave in the middle of nowhere is not the best place to take a woman on a first date, the question is simple. Where is a good place to go?

The best place to go on a first date is somewhere that will spark both your interest and hers, give you a chance to talk and get to know each other better, and allows you to display your best personality and character traits to their fullest potential.

If you’ve already gotten to know your lady friend quite well, you can choose a location that will appeal to your shared interests. For example, if you met at a library and had a long talk about the history of surrealism and its affect on modern art then you might want to consider going to a museum or an art gallery. If you have no idea what that means and you met her at a night club, then you probably don’t want to bring her to a museum.

If you are confident that your likes in movies will match up you can go to the movies, but remember to take her out for coffee afterward so that you can talk about what you liked or didn’t like about the movie you saw. You can’t further your relationship by spending all of your time in a dark movie theater staring at a screen.

If you don’t know very much about her interests, then you probably didn’t make a very good approach initially. If this is the case, then your best bet is to choose a neutral location that will focus on conversation between the two of you, so that you can come up with a better idea for your second date.

Good examples in this scenario are going for a cup of coffee or a walk in the park. A nice dinner can also fit into this category, but make sure that you choose a restaurant with an extensive list of menu options, since you don’t know her favorite foods yet. Taking a vegetarian to a steak house is a mistake that can cost you a lot of “brownie points”.

If there is something about your personality or character that you really like, it’s okay to show off a little bit while you’re on your first date. For example, if you’re a real fun-loving kind of guy then take her to an amusement park to show off your carefree personality. If you are quite the intellectual then head over to a museum. If you are very open to new things then pick something you’ve never done before and let her know you have no idea what it will be like. Don’t spend time talking about yourself or how wonderful you are, show it through your creativity in the chosen location of your first date.

Now that you have a few ideas of where you can go, let’s cover the basics of where NOT to go.

The old standby of dinner and a movie is a really poor choice for a first date. This is the default that everyone fell back on for years and will show no creativity and little interest on your part. The only way that you can make this work is if you made an excellent initial approach and you already know what movies and food she likes.

If you are going to choose this one, I suggest movie first followed by dinner, to allow you time to talk about the movie and get to know each other better. If you picked the wrong movie, she may end up skipping out on dinner, which gives you no chance to get to know her better and decreases the odds of getting a second date.

Taking her to your parents’ house or a family function is a bad idea. Remember, this is a first date. She hasn’t even gotten to know you yet and she will feel crowded if she suddenly has to get to know the whole family. Plus this puts into question the whole theory that you are a strong, independent, and capable man.

Do not take her anywhere that is isolated. In this day and age many bad things happen to women that wander into the middle of nowhere with men that they don’t know very well. If you take her to a motel just outside of the city you will scare the poor woman to death. She will jump out of the car and hitchhike back to town believing that she would be safer with a burly truck driver than with you. Inviting her to your home is a bad idea, too, for the same reasons. In order to feel completely safe she will need the reassurance of other people and accessibility to an “emergency escape” should it become necessary.

Of course there are many other bad places to take women, so try to exercise some common sense. Bounce ideas off of your friends, coworkers, or family before coming to a final decision. Make sure that you keep in mind, though, that this date is suppose to impress her enough to keep her coming back for more, without freaking her out. If you can achieve a nice balance on the first date, you’re almost guaranteed a second.

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