A lot of times single men go home at the end of the night to their empty apartment or house and wonder what went wrong and why that one girl doesn’t like them. To some men, it’s been happening for years, since they were in high school, and they still haven’t been able to answer that question.

This question, of course, just leads into a secondary one that is just as important. “How do I get her to change her mind?” Because once you’ve realized that she’s not interested, you begin to wonder how you can make her interested.

There is one major problem with this scenario. If you open up a jigsaw puzzle and start throwing down the pieces you will occasionally run into a spot where the piece in your hand doesn’t fit the place in the puzzle you’ve picked out for it. It might look right and feel right, but if it doesn’t fit then it just might not fit. You may end up having to look for another piece.

If the woman that you’re focusing your attention on has a contrasting personality, then she just might not fit into your life, even if you really want her to. She may be gorgeous and funny and smart, but if her character, personality, and priorities don’t match up with your own then your relationship would be filled with conflict. A lot of women will recognize this potential conflict in advance and may shy away from it. If this is the case, then you will have to take a good look at what exactly you are looking for in a woman and whether or not this particular woman really is right for you.

If this is not the case and you feel that your personality, character, and priorities are similar enough to make an honest go at it, then you need to reexamine yourself to decide why you’re having trouble.

Begin by making a list of the things that you really like about yourself. Are you impeccably honest? Are you meticulous? Funny? You want to be able to come up with a decent sized list, but don’t go overboard. The important thing is to be truly honest and practical when you’re making your list. If you always need to have your own way, don’t say that you’re flexible and ready to compromise.

Once you have your list of things that you like about yourself, you can begin to make a list of things you feel need improvement. Honesty is even more important here, because men usually jump one of two ways.

If your list of negative aspects is pages long then you are being too hard on yourself. Go over the list of positive things again and try to expand it. Don’t make the list of things that you don’t like at a time when you’re feeling particularly depressed, angry, or stressed out.

On the other hand, if the list of things you don’t like is almost non-existent then you’re missing the point of this exercise. Nobody is perfect and there will always be areas of your character on which you can improve. If you truly believe that there is nothing in your personality that you need to improve, then you are over confident and conceited and you will have to work on that.

Improving your character begins with a conscious change in your mind set. Once you have decided one or two things that you really want to improve, make an effort to do better in everything that you do. As you continue it will become less effort and more natural.

Remember, improving your character may help women like you better, but it’s also something that will enrich your life on a daily basis, whether or not that woman sees the benefits of the “new you”.

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